Nudist Vacation If you’re looking for a completely different vacation idea this year, why not try a nudist holiday? It may seem outrageous at first but read on. It might change your life!
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Egger Family Calender
It’s that time of year when my loved one and myself set aside an evening to open a bottle of wine and discuss one of the most significant events in the Egger family calendar, to whit, the Great Annual Holiday.
As always, the first decision we have to make is whether we choose nude or not. As confirmed nudists, we naturally favor a naturist vacation or at least a vacation during which we can get naked for part of the time. However, it’s not an automatic choice and this year there is a particularly tempting selection of textile holidays on offer. There’s a Mediterranean cruise that looks appealing, and the Rocky Mountain Rail Adventure takes my eye. Maybe we should support one of the Indian Ocean countries devastated by the Boxing Day Tsunami, or stay at home and redecorate (ugh!) However, we’ll probably choose nude, and here are six reasons why.
Why People Getting naked
Getting naked, even for a short time, can help save your life!
I’m not being overly dramatic here. It really seems that divesting yourself of tight, restrictive clothing that impedes the natural flow of blood and lymphatic fluid may be a real life-saver.
According to researchers, wearing a bra can cause all manner of unpleasantness, including soreness and even breast cancer. The (admittedly preliminary) research suggests that ladies who wear bras for more than twelve hours each day except for bed are 21 times more likely to get breast cancer than those who wear bras less than twelve hours per day. And listen to this” those who wear bras even in bed are125 times more likely to get breast cancer than those who don’t wear bras at all! In cultures where ladies don’t wear bras, the incidence of breast cancer is about the same as it is for men ” virtually zero!
And it’s not only the ladies who are at risk. The same research suggests that testicular cancer in men may be caused by tight briefs.
So, divesting yourself of bra and briefs, even for the short period of your vacation, could keep you much healthier.
Fewer clothes
Less clothes = less luggage = less hassle.
Have you ever noticed how when you’re packing for a holiday you can never seem to have enough clothes? And how you’ll then spend the equivalent of the cost of the vacation on essential garments brought especially for the holiday? Yet, during your stay, you find you’ve ended up with twice the clothes you need? It’s spooky, isn’t it? Don’t ask me why it works that way ” probably some unexplained Law of Nature – but it happens EVERY TIME.
Except on a nudist holiday.
It’s as if nudist holidays turn natural laws on their head. The scramble to cover every eventuality clothes-wise is replaced by a disdain for apparel bordering on the obsessive. My normal textile two page-packing lists are reduced to just four lines, viz:
· Suitable clothing for traveling.
· sufficient smart slinky dresses for evening wear.
· Shorts/skirt/tee-shirt for any non-nudist (referred to in nude-speak as “textile”) excursions.
· And, Ummm… well that’s about it really.
The immediate effect of this textile trimming is that my luggage, which is normally equal in volume to a medium-sized car, consists of just one small suitcase. (OK, two, if you count the other one which contains life-saving items such as hairdryer, make-up, skin creams, lipsticks, jewelry, etc ” gosh, a girl has to look her best, even in the buff hasn’t she?) Not only does this make for easier carrying and a swifter get-away from the luggage carousel, but it also saves on tips. The largesse I would otherwise have to distribute just to transport my baggage train to the hotel would feed a family of five for a month. A spin-off from this is that less clothing also means less packing and unpacking, leaving more time for drinking wine and dozing by the pool, which is the whole idea of a holiday in the first place.
Well it’s mine, anyway
Why husband Skin doesn’t stain
Skin doesn’t stain.
Our skin is wonderful. Not only is it the largest organ of our body, but it always fits perfectly (OK. Sometimes some of us may have just a little more than is necessary, but you know what I mean.)
Happily, it’s also easier to keep clean than fabric. My husband has a particular fondness for crépes ” you know, those pancake things with fillings you can buy from roadside kiosks around the Med? He’d eat ’em all day if I let him. Unfortunately he also has a tendency to lose the syrup filling down his front, which has led to more ruined shirts than would fill a steamer trunk.
A nudist holiday neatly sidesteps this problem. Whilst maple syrup may not be particularly easy to remove from a naked chest ” especially a hirsute male one ” it‘s a whole lot easier than washing it out of a silk or cotton shirt. Nor does it leave a stain, except for a livid red mark across the torso after the treacle has been scrubbed from the chest hair, but that’s the price men pay for being so clumsy. (In the interests of equality, I have to concede that this is not just a male quirk. After a bottle or two, I have been known to distribute red wine down my bosom with something approaching gay abandon, rendering any affected clothing null and void in the process. However I insist that this is not clumsiness on my part, but merely the result of my being tired and emotional. So there.)
To be exposed to a boardwalk
It makes more sense to be naked on a beach than to wear a bathing costume.
Let’s face it. A bathing costume serves no useful purpose. It doesn’t keep us dry, or warm, and doesn’t even help us to swim: studies by the West German Olympic swim team showed that swimsuits actually hamper a swimmer. They’re not even healthy. Ticks and sea lice that bite or sting and which find nowhere to hide on a nude body are easily trapped in a bathing suit.
So why do we wear ‘em
To preserve one’s modesty? Hardly. These days men’s’ costumes are brief enough but ladies bathers are positively minuscule, containing less fabric than a small handkerchief. Bikini tops afford less coverage than two postage stamps on a string, and in any case, are rarely worn on European beaches. Bikini bottoms just cover the genitals but often leave the bottom exposed.
This also means they don’t protect you from the sun’s harmful UV rays.
Yet according to a survey carried out by the Ladies’ Home Journal Americans spend $900,000,000 each year on bathing costumes, although eighty-five percent of all swimsuits purchased never touch the water.
Doesn’t make a lot of sense does it?
Nudist substitutes
Nudist resorts are nice places with nice people every nudist knows that genuine nudists are very nice people. What makes nudist especially nice remains a mystery. Perhaps nudism attracts the pleasantest individuals in the first place, or maybe the practice of nudism somehow improves people. Who knows? And really, who cares? Let’s just enjoy the situation. You can leave an unlocked car at a nudist resort and nothing will be taken. Nudist resorts and beaches tend to be orderly, well-behaved places. Even at a nudist holiday city such as Cap d’Agde, containing some 40000 people at the height of the season, there is none of the threatening atmosphere, violence, and general loutishness that disfigures other holiday hot-spots. Any sort of crime is almost non-existent, and most large complexes, even Cap d’Agde, need no more than minimal security.
You don’t get that at Benidorm or Palm Springs!
Nudist contractors need
Nudist entrepreneurs need our support. Despite estimates that the world nude travel business is worth some four hundred million USD annually and growing fast, the nudist holiday industry is still a fragile plant that needs encouragement and support. The fine nudist resorts that cater to the nudist holidaymaker today are a far cry from the primitive camps that were available in the not too distant past, and by attracting the new generation of vacationers who demand a certain standard of comfort, are in a large part responsible for the growth of the nude leisure industry. However, quality costs money, and these resorts are businesses, not charities. Unless we continue to support them they’ll close, and we’ll return to the old clapped out, run-down, make-do-and-mend compounds of yesteryear. As the old saying goes, you have to use ‘em or lose ‘em
So, it looks as if we’ll choose nude again this year. All we have to do is to decide where. Wait a minute. I’ve just had a wonderful idea. Perhaps we can support the Tsunami appeal and please ourselves at the same time by going nude in Thailand. That’s it! Brilliant. Now, then, where are those brochures…?
Copyright Liz Egger 2005